Coming to a theater near you;

times-like-these7:

sorelatable:

If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity

image

Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle

thatfuckingcrowv2:

orlandobloomers:

instead of sending me nudes you can send me 

  • pics of you smiling with ur fave stuffed animal
  • pics of you smiling with ur mom 
  • pics of plants
  • pics of ur dog
  • pics of silly lookin bugs that u find 

send me the nudes while this geek eats a flower

gracefullikeagazelle:

knives-and-pipes:

upgraders:

most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person 

image there’s a tool for that

I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?

the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife

the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife

buttspectre:

why would you want to be an offensive stereotype for Halloween

when u can be

this

image

jaclcfrost:

some people’s voices are just very appealing. you can’t explain it. there is no way to describe it. it’s just like. how. why. why does your voice do things to me. why does it make me feel things. why. how. why

stop-hammerkind:

srsfunny:

Glass Blower: Sculpting A Horse From Molten Glass

WHAT

stop-hammerkind:

srsfunny:

Glass Blower: Sculpting A Horse From Molten Glass

WHAT

illkim:

Entire Class: *forgets to do homework*

Teacher: Well I guess I won’t count it

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